I've convinced myself to never move to LJ. (Yeah I know I'm was swaying despite being irritated to no end by the (lack of) efficiency of the LJ system when sending verification emails...)
Because part of the fun, the attraction, the reason why I'm considering moving to LJ is getting to know some of the really awesome fic authors (ahem).

But then knowing someone on cyberspace is so different from knowing people in real life.

And I'm well-known (okay rather I know myself well -_-) for having serious commitment issues (?!) to people online. Which is why all my forum accounts are dead-ish and why I admire people who make friends online.
I mean AFF was like the closest I've gotten to making friends online. (I still love Luna May a lot ^^ and I really wanted to know EmberGryphon better... she's an amazing person :P and Sir Capadoodle (ahem), ESoD (XD) and Neesha (XDDDD) and dreamz and everyone's just... urgh, so much love.) But then June holidays ended and my fad ended. And I haven't logged onto AFF for a really long time now. Tried to get back to it after EOYs ended but... I guess I just lost interest. Because I'm fickle like that.
I miss them, sometimes, but I can't ever go back again I guess, without dying of embarrassment over having to explain why I poofed on them like that and I can't guarantee never disappearing again, and what's the point of appearing if I'm going to leave? (Okay that's not true but... I dunno, irrationality I guess.)
I miss the time when AFF was THE thing I spent all my time on during May - June hols last year. But it's not the same now, right.

So why bother doing it again, why bother getting to know a whole bunch of people whom I'll throw behind me just like that when one day I don't like Super Junior anymore / don't bother writing fanfics anymore? (I've only written 3 anyway, with ideas for others but never COMMITTING enough TIME to finish writing them... GAH.)
And it's not like anyone will really like my fics / me anyway. -.-

But then again why bother making friends in real life when everyone's going to move on someday?
:|

Friends leave a part of themselves with you, even after they leave.
That's the point of friends, I guess.

Even friends on cyberspace.
It's not the same as having real friends, after all knowing someone through words and pixels isn't the same as knowing someone whom you can see and touch and feel and hear, IN PERSON.
But it doesn't interfer with the nature of friendship itself, does it.
I mean Ember showed me how to argue and make a point without being aggressive, while being rational and not going overboard and turning it into a fight. Luna... is just too sweet and lovable and proves that you can be innocent and sweet and still liked by the world after all. capn and snoops and dreamz and basically everyone on AFF taught me (some things, I'm not really that great at making a point as of yet...) how to debate over morality issues and themes and everything (and capn changed the way I see Harry Potter forever... oh and introduced me to the concept of b^^d-s. 8D).
Even Dave (from jellyneo.net) got me all interested in HGttG. XD (Which I need to finish reading soon argh.)
HECK if not for kimheechullover (on youtube.com) and his/her amazing It's You + Sorry Sorry parody, and subsequently the 亲 who wrote the Park Jungsoo tribute on 百度百科, I won't freaking love Super Junior now.

It's just like my theory.
Sharing a piece of your soul through words. ;)

WAIT.
WAIT.
WAIT.
WHAT DID I JUST TYPE?!
Did I just give myself a reason to move to LJ ._____________________.
Omg no.

FINE. FINE. FINE.
I'll do it when my fics are more up-to-standard.
Which will happen.
One day.

Sigh.

Okay my mind isn't making sense now. \O/

xoxos.

Labels: issues