Well maybe I should say something deep philosopical emo etc on the last day of 2009 but fact is, I have no time (because I just spent all day FINALLY finishing Thanks for the Memories -.- Yeah I know I started reading in November or something but I've been NEGLECTING physical reading okay :P).
Because I feel so utterly tempted to kill CAP now because I thought I had enough ideas to put together a decent portfolio.
1) I haven't even "materialized" those ideas yet
and 2) I only have 6 ideas. All of which sounds like they'll turn out to be a flop.
3) I'm not even good enough for CAP lah seriously, I think I'm better at expressing myself in English these days = total epic fail.
So yeah I need to go back to tearing my hair out over CAP.
(Yeah people this is why I'm barely talking to anyone on MSN for the past few days :PP Lalala.)

(And my laptop has this really bad habit to shut down randomly .__________. omg I hope I won't need to send it for repairs ._.)

And I realise this world is so freaking talented it makes me wonder what have I done to deserve a place in it. ._.

Okay anyway, 2010.

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS:
To not screw up my life like I did in 2009.
I need to find some way for me to quit Facebook ._. Maybe get someone to change the password for me (who'll actually remember what the password is -.- okay maybe it'll be better if she can't remember it then I'll be barred from FB forever XD).
And now I need a way to quit (reading) LJ fanfics. Okay that may actually not be much of a problem.
Maybe I'll need a way to quit loving Super Junior. Maybe.

:P

Today's probably the last day when I can still call myself a 213er, I guess.
Okay true we'll always be 213ers forever, ever and ever, but... -.-
Life moves on, and so do we.

I'm going to miss everyone lots ._.
DETAILS OF CLASS LUNCH WILL BE SETTLED... AFTER WE GET OUR TIME TABLES ^^

I'm not going to be used to all the new changes. -sigh-

-goes off to attack CAP vigorously-

(I seriously need to edit my phone's music collection -.- having 380+ songs is just WRONG.)

(:

Everyone remember to SMILE~ especially when it's the new year ^^ (And Sungmin's birthday! XD)
(:

I love you, yeah that means everyone who's reading this sentence, and even those who AREN'T reading this sentence (: :D
(Don't ask me why am I suddenly in such a carebear-mood :P Esp when I have to go back to writing a psychopathic tale in like 5 minutes...)

:D

xoxos.

AVATAR IS AN AMAZING GOOD GREAT MOVIE (:
(Read: nice but not perfect/wonderful.)
(2012 pwns it.)

This is a (failed) movie review brought to you by Li Xinzhuo, your unfriendly abnormal insane uh, reviewer! :D
(What am I saying. -.-)

Let me list out some non-serious things you should take note of.
1) If you don't understand half the English that was spoken at the beginning of the movie - well, fret not. Neither do I. Neither do DOM, and that's saying something.
2) If you happen to be bored by the first part of the movie and fall asleep (ahem like I did (when they were flying merrily -.-), please wake up soon because the exciting part is starting. ^^ Get popcorn or drinks or something that'll keep yourself awake if necessary. :D
3) A 3-hour long 3D movie makes people have headaches.
4) The male protagonist's name is... JAKE. And his deceased brother's name is TOM. And the Na'vi (I had to check Wiki for the proper name of the species -.- I've been thinking about them in terms of the big blue aliens for the entire time -.-) look like... wait, I said they're big and blue didn't I? BIG, BLUE ALIENS? RING ANY BELLS? *bells jingle in all Animorph fans' heads, others look on blankly* ANDALITES. Omg are you sure the scriptwriters didn't read Animorphs or something?
5) The metal they were trying to obtain is called... Unobtainium. Which according to Wiki means "a humorous name for any extremely rare, costly, or physically impossible material needed to fulfill a given design for a given application". -.- Lame much.
6) I think there's more but I can't remember what. :D
7) I LOVE THE GLOW-IN-DARK PLANTS! ^^ Esp the fluttering piaoish jellyfish-ish things.
8) The songs used are super nice ((: It's nice to hear... something without comprehensible lyrics and just listen to the music for the music alone for once. :P

Okay yeah.
Actually I didn't even know the Na'vis were aliens while watching the movie -.- I thought they were some native tribe that looks odd. -.- (Because I didn't understand they were saying during the intro whaaaaat. ._. So I didn't know they weren't on Earth! I was just amazed-ish by the floating doctors (okay which should have linked me to no gravity = travelling in space = going to another planet and all -.- but I'm slow.) :P)
(So yes my dear readers (?!), yeah, the movie Avatar is set on the moon (Pandora -omg subtle puns much, greed eh?-) an alien planet called Polyphemus. -nods- (So now we know where all those incomprehensible terms came from -.-) That's Obvious Fact -which LXZ doesn't get anyway- No. 234240394 for you. :D)

And I just discovered what the "I see you" thing mean. I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS SWEET. -.-
But it actually means something else.

●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (22:01):
did.. you hear the part where the other human guy was telling jake 'i see you' in their language meant like.. i see into your heart that sort of deep thing

-nods-
I conclude watching movies after laughing insanely at CCA = you'll be very tired and not concentrate well on the movie. :P



Okay now on to PHILOSOPHICAL PARTS.
(What, you thought I'll be able to watch a movie without cross-examining everything (when I'm not busy falling asleep)? XD)

And seriously I keep comparing everything to Animorphs. -.-

Okay I shall quote Dom and myself for a summary of what I feel about this movie: It's like a crossover between Pocahontas and Tarzan.
We aren't kidding.

Basically to me, the main issue to this movie is about - protecting the environment! -cues yaying-
It's about that issue, of humans over-exploiting land for selfish desires, blah blah blah. And how Mother Nature fights back and blah blah blah.
(And seriously, the part when all the creatures started attacking the human machinery weapons had me screaming "ANIMORPHS" in my brain XD)
But one thing that I found slightly... ironical: if the humans had never came to attack the place, Jake won't have met Neytiri. Then I dunno, if the humans do come one day, the Na'vi would have been in trouble and won't know how to defend themselves. ._.
But then if the humans didn't come to attack in the first place, they wouldn't have needed to defend themselves! Okay this doesn't make sense. Nvm.

Then yeah, the whole sense of acceptance thing.
I mean it's true, people who didn't grow up in a community might be "accepted", but will never be fully accepted. :P
I mean, it's just instinctive. In your subconscious you still think of that someone as an outsider. It's unavoidable, a part of human - or even alien, or just living things - nature I guess.
Ah well.

Okay I don't know what else I want to rant about ._.
Oh yeah one thing that irritated me about the movie is that WHY WAS IT SHOWING SO MUCH OF THE SCENERY IN FRONT?! I think that was why it was boring at first lah ._. I mean, okay yeah it's important to show that the planet is beautiful and it's worth protecting and what a sin it is to destroy it (and watching it through 3D is great but dizzifying... I read something in wiki about the strobing (read: level of jerkiness) and how it should have had more frames? Do I see producers attempting to cut down on price of production here?) but WE GET THE POINT, SO CAN WE MOVE ON ALREADY?! ._.
Oh wait or is it because Jake and Neytiri need to spend enough time together in order to fall in love? -.- Oh come on. (Plus uh who falls in love with someone just because he's brave?! ._. Okay I mean I knew they were probably going to end up together the moment Neytiri found Jake -.- but when they suddenly confessed for each other I was like, uh okay. -.- It's like, the process is not very clear ._. (Or maybe I was just falling asleep at that point of time. In which case there's something wrong with the movie. i.e. they spent too long gawking at the scenery. -.-)
Sigh. ._.

Oh I really like Trudy, as a sidenote.
She's like symbolizing the hope in this world, like there are still people with consciences no matter how cruel everyone else is being. That SOME people in the world are still sane, at least. (:
It's a turning point. XD

Oh yeah. I really want to comment about the Na'vis shooting at advanced human machinery with arrows and bows.
It's raw courage I guess.
I've said this before for 2012, and I'll say it again.
Humans never give up. I know the Na'vis aren't humans, technically speaking, but I believe in Avatar they were meant to be portrayed as humans.
They'll fight, no matter what.
I mean for a moment I wanted to laugh at them, because it's so obvious their arrows are no match for a TANK. Even with the combined power of multiple tribes, it's still puny, as compared to technology.
Then I saw the arrows scraping the glass panels.
It doesn't make much of a difference, but it still makes a difference. (Don't ask me what I'm saying. -.-)
Then I realised if I were there, I would be shooting arrows at them too. (It sort of reminds me of protesting against authority. which reminds me of something fangirly. XD)
And then in the end, it was the arrow. Neytiri's arrow, that brought the whole thing to an end.
Shouldn't underestimate things, eh? ^^ (Okay fine so even if Jake died the BIG PICTURE is still saved, the Na'vi will be safe, Pandora will be preserved. BUT WHAT, I WANT A HAPPY ENDING! :P And after all his name is JAKE. I CAN'T SEE HIM DIE. (Okay ignore me.) )

-I don't want to comment about the alikeness to Pocahontas of this movie because that'll just be history repeating itself (bad pun fully intended). :D XDD-

Actually I agree with what some of the reviewers said. The story is great in terms of its creation of this alternate universe with really cool technology and I like this Avatar idea, and yes this issue is going to be really important to humans one day, but... the presentation... is just... average. Like, the plot was really predictable-ish ._. Like you KNOW the good will win the bad, duh, and at the ending I practically knew that Jake would open his eyes in his alien body and the movie will end -_- Nevertheless the concepts are still great and it's not easy to think of. And predictable isn't necessarily bad... :P
Then again, I quote a reviewer (okay at least I'm paraphrasing what he said): the movie's technical aspects (uh I mean the technologies in the AU, not the 3D tech used to create the movie -.-) are more fascinating than the plot itself. ._.

Hey I mean, I still like the movie okay! It's just that, (I quote Lijia -.-) everyone tends to focus on the bad parts rather than the good. :P

I dunno, I think this is the end of my lousy "movie review" :P I don't like this as much as I like my 2012 reflection thing, but then again I like 2012 a lot more anyway XDD :P
(Plus I'm tired okay! :P)

So yay :D



And yay I've missed CIP for ANOTHER day. Means I seriously die die need to go do CIP tomorrow or I'll have 47 hours out of 50 which will be utter retardness.
AND MY CAP IS DEAD LAH I ONLY HAVE 1 PIECE WRITTEN WHICH IS ACTUALLY PRETTY UNUSABLE -.-
Okay I should go rant about it on SNS. XD

I'm broke.
8D
I think I probably gained like a lot of fats today. Yay. -.-
Lalalala.

I think our "class outings"
1) always consist only 4 people (out of which 3 will be me Dom Shihui ._.)
2) will always have us ending up sitting somewhere and playing Taptap on Shihui's iPhone and I'll always fail. :D
3) will always result in me going broke.
4) always occurs when PSLs/councillors have activities -.- = half the class gone le -.-

:DD

Okay I should go bathe and maybe write a bit of Fengzi (that's the state I'm going to end up in if I finish my CAP in time ._. ARGH BUT I REALLY WANT TO GET IN (but not like my writing is good enough but I want to try ._.) ._. -die le-) :D

Oh world wish us (NYJF) good luck. We have to put up an orientation performance in like, 6 days! And we haven't even started brainstorming yet and Vivian just got informed today.
And I'm involved.
And I still have like 6+ stories to write.
And I will have no time (because I'm still slacking. Although Playfish just blanked out on me again but that's not the point.) because we need to rehearse.
And I shall die.
(And this is called being too lazy to post on separate blogs so everything's lumped here. 8D)

And I got out of acting Qingxiao's role \O/ HAHAHAHAHA. 8D -embraces gates. which we'll need to ban to boarding school tomorrow and the paint's probably faded to grey already or something -.- :PP-
PEOPLE COME FOR NYJF PROD'10!!! :D (Yeah I've started advertising already.) I'LL BE APPEARING ON STAGE (other than for xiemu -.-) FOR ONCE! TREASURE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE ME ON STAGE OKAY :D -I'm eyeing the SM position for SYF'11 -ahem- XDD Or at least something backstage 8DD \o/ \O/-

Okay sorry this post is supposed to be about Avatar. -.- -I fail.-
(Okay to bring us back to Avatar, at first watching how Jake fails with interacting with the environment on Pandora was really amusing. XD)

OH I NEED TO GO FIND THE KYU VERSION OF MIDUHYO. I DIDN'T KNOW ONE EXISTS. ._.
(And Dom I'll be chasing you for links someday. :D)

And gah SMP... ._.
-jealous of people with topics-
Ah well WE WILL COME UP WITH SOMETHING. -does the tuzki determined hand action-
(Have I mentioned how Qingxiao has been pronouncing "tuzki" as "turskey" (like turkey like that) instead of "tooskey" (as in how you'll say tooth's key) -.- yeah 213ers this is your cue to faint.)

And suddenly the whole world has read The Quiet World. Wow. -.-

(:

xoxos.

Labels: lists, movie

PARK JUNGSOO LET ME JOING THE MILK CLUB ALREADY. I'M SERIOUS. BEFORE I'M SELF-DIAGNOISED AS CLINICALLY DEPRESSED.
(Yeah I know that doesn't actually make sense + can't actually happen. But since when have I made sense...?)

:P

xoxos.

Labels: pointless, super junior

MUSIC SHALL JUST BE MUSIC.
-.-

WHO CARES ABOUT WHAT LABELS THERE ARE, WHO CARES.

Who cares if Evanescence is overly emo, if Avril Lavigne is overrated (not true, I can easily think of more overrated things -.- oh wait that's me being hypocritical.), if Korean pop is EXTREME overrated, etc etc.
IT'S JUST. MUSIC.
-.-

What, you're going to say that jazz is completely label-free and what, a cut above the rest? -.-
Give me a break.

Why on earth are we associating everything with a freaking category. -.-
I mean I can happily listen to Bob the Builder if it makes me happy. -.-

Irritated.

(Sorry this has been bothering me for a while. -.- Just that it especially got brought up... in my , uh, mind, just now. :D)

:D

xoxos.

Labels: issues

It doesn't feel real.



Nothing feels real anymore.

I'm thinking maybe I'll go to sleep on 31st December 2009 and wake up at 1st January 2009.

-shrug-



I HAVE HAD ENOUGH.

I'm counting on that for everything. ._.
I don't know.

I don't remember you.

IT DOESN'T FREAKING MATTER ANYMORE.

So?

So it'll all stop mattering some day.

Some day.

Like everything else that's stopped mattering.



Silver is never gold.



New Year Resolution:
Don't care anymore.

The end.



Since you've gone
I've been lost without a trace
I dream at night
I can only see your face
I look around but it's you, I can't replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
I keep crying
Baby
Baby
Please.


New batch of songs to download: Rihanna.
:PP

/edit/
I feel sick.
.________.
Grah.

-dies-

/edit2/

Remembered some stuff.
Things that mattered so much to me in the past and I barely care about now.

Waiting for time to pass.

Changes to changes make everything acceptable again. (:

/edit/

I dunno.
I can't tell the difference anymore.

xoxos.

Labels: pointless

看开了就什么都好了.

Problem is, I need some help with that.
No not that. THAT.
Yeah.

-this is how my blog gets spammed.-

Tropical climate countries are utterly deprived because there's never snow. -.-

Sigh.

xoxos.

Labels: pointless

Scared.

xoxos.

Labels: pointless

The first half of 2009 was huge for Super Junior, but the latter half is not looking so great.

Oh, thanks so much allkpop.
-rolls eyes-

SLKGJAOSIERFJSDKL I NEED TO START WRITING. -dies-

bye.

/edit/

I hate myself. And my unconstructiveness. -.-

Park Jungsoo I wanna hug you.

Look at me in front of you
Me, who lives for you alone


HAPPINESS. IS. A. SADISTIC. SONG. -.-

xoxos.

Labels: fangirlism, super junior

很 久 很 久 以 前 ，
一 个 老 人 给 了 一 个 迷 茫 的 孩 子 一 粒 种 子 ，
他 告 诉 那 个 孩 子 ：
" 这 个 种 子 将 会 长 出 一 朵 很 大 很 漂 亮 的 花 ，
花 中 的 每 一 朵 小 花 都 可 你 帮 你 实 现 一 个 愿 望 。
但 是 代 价 却 是 完 成 了 你 的 心 愿 后 ，你 也 将 消 失 ! "
孩 子 拿 著 种 子 ，
犹 豫 著 要 不 要 种 下 。
太 阳 升 起 来 又 落 下 ，
孩 子 手 中 的 种 子 被 埋 入 了 地 下 。
中 间 的 第 一 朵 花 盛 开 了 ...
宝 蓝 色 的 花 瓣 和 纯 白 色 的 花 蕊 。
那 朵 花 对 孩 子 说 ：
" 你 好 ， 我 是 利 特 。 谢 谢 你 让 我 长 大 ，
你 有 什 麼 心 愿 吗 ? 我 会 帮 你 完 成 ! "
孩 子 微 笑 著 摇 了 摇 头 ...
中 间 的 第 二 朵 花 盛 开 了 ...
宝 蓝 色 的 花 瓣 和 鲜 红 色 的 花 蕊 。
那 朵 花 对 孩 子 说 ：
" 你 好 ， 我 是 希 澈 。 谢 谢 你 让 我 长 大 ，
你 有 什 麼 心 愿 吗 ? 我 会 帮 你 完 成 ! "
孩 子 微 笑 著 摇 了 摇 头 ...
中 间 的 第 三 朵 花 盛 开 了 ...
宝 蓝 色 的 花 瓣 和 生 褐 色 的 花 蕊 。
那 朵 花 对 孩 子 说 ：
" 你 好 ， 我 是 韩 庚 。 谢 谢 你 让 我 长 大 ，
你 有 什 麼 心 愿 吗 ? 我 会 帮 你 完 成 ! "
孩 子 微 笑 著 摇 了 摇 头 ...
中 间 的 第 四 朵 花 盛 开 了 ...
宝 蓝 色 的 花 瓣 和 米 茶 色 的 花 蕊 。
那 朵 花 对 孩 子 说 ：
" 你 好 ， 我 是 艺 声 。 谢 谢 你 让 我 长 大 ，
你 有 什 麼 心 愿 吗 ? 我 会 帮 你 完 成 ! "
孩 子 微 笑 著 摇 了 摇 头 ...
中 间 的 第 五 朵 花 盛 开 了 ...
宝 蓝 色 的 花 瓣 和 橙 黄 色 的 花 蕊 。
那 朵 花 对 孩 子 说 ：
" 你 好 ， 我 是 强 仁 。 谢 谢 你 让 我 长 大 ，
你 有 什 麼 心 愿 吗 ? 我 会 帮 你 完 成 ! "
孩 子 微 笑 著 摇 了 摇 头 ...
中 间 的 第 六 朵 花 盛 开 了 ...
宝 蓝 色 的 花 瓣 和 墨 绿 色 的 花 蕊 。
那 朵 花 对 孩 子 说 ：
" 你 好 ， 我 是 神 童 。 谢 谢 你 让 我 长 大 ，
你 有 什 麼 心 愿 吗 ? 我 会 帮 你 完 成 ! "
孩 子 微 笑 著 摇 了 摇 头 ...
中 间 的 第 七 朵 花 盛 开 了 ...
宝 蓝 色 的 花 瓣 和 粉 红 色 的 花 蕊 。
那 朵 花 对 孩 子 说 ：
" 你 好 ， 我 是 晟 敏 。 谢 谢 你 让 我 长 大 ，
你 有 什 麼 心 愿 吗 ? 我 会 帮 你 完 成 ! "
孩 子 微 笑 著 摇 了 摇 头 ...
中 间 的 第 八 朵 花 盛 开 了 ...
宝 蓝 色 的 花 瓣 和 乳 白 色 的 花 蕊 。
那 朵 花 对 孩 子 说 ：
" 你 好 ， 我 是 银 赫 。 谢 谢 你 让 我 长 大 ，
你 有 什 麼 心 愿 吗 ? 我 会 帮 你 完 成 ! "
孩 子 微 笑 著 摇 了 摇 头 ...
中 间 的 第 九 朵 花 盛 开 了 ...
宝 蓝 色 的 花 瓣 和 海 蓝 色 的 花 蕊 。
那 朵 花 对 孩 子 说 ：
" 你 好 ， 我 是 东 海 。 谢 谢 你 让 我 长 大 ，
你 有 什 麼 心 愿 吗 ? 我 会 帮 你 完 成 ! "
孩 子 微 笑 著 摇 了 摇 头 ...
中 间 的 第 十 朵 花 盛 开 了 ...
宝 蓝 色 的 花 瓣 和 灰 绿 色 的 花 蕊 。
那 朵 花 对 孩 子 说 ：
" 你 好 ， 我 是 始 源 。 谢 谢 你 让 我 长 大 ，
你 有 什 麼 心 愿 吗 ? 我 会 帮 你 完 成 ! "
孩 子 微 笑 著 摇 了 摇 头 ...
中 间 的 第 十 一 朵 花 盛 开 了 ...
宝 蓝 色 的 花 瓣 和 金 黄 色 的 花 蕊 。
那 朵 花 对 孩 子 说 ：
" 你 好 ， 我 是 厉 旭 。 谢 谢 你 让 我 长 大 ，
你 有 什 麼 心 愿 吗 ? 我 会 帮 你 完 成 ! "
孩 子 微 笑 著 摇 了 摇 头 ...
中 间 的 第 十 二 朵 花 盛 开 了 ...
宝 蓝 色 的 花 瓣 和 深 紫 色 的 花 蕊 。
那 朵 花 对 孩 子 说 ：
" 你 好 ， 我 是 起 范 。 谢 谢 你 让 我 长 大 ，
你 有 什 麼 心 愿 吗 ? 我 会 帮 你 完 成 ! "
孩 子 微 笑 著 摇 了 摇 头 ...
中 间 的 第 十 三 朵 花 盛 开 了 ...
宝 蓝 色 的 花 瓣 和 墨 黑 色 的 花 蕊 。
那 朵 花 对 孩 子 说 ：
" 你 好 ， 我 是 圭 贤 。 谢 谢 你 让 我 长 大 ，
你 有 什 麼 心 愿 吗 ? 我 会 帮 你 完 成 ! "
孩 子 微 笑 著 摇 了 摇 头 ...
最 后 一 天 ，
这 朵 大 花 中 的 十 三 朵 花 一 起 盛 开 ，
绽 放 著 宝 蓝 色 的 光 芒 。
可 是 他 们 都 不 由 得 为 这 个 孩 子 著 急 ，
太 阳 就 要 落 下 ，
可 是 这 个 孩 子 却 还 没 有 说 出 自 己 的 愿 望 。
太 阳 公 公 终 於 要 下 山 了 ，
夕 阳 的 最 后 一 丝 光 亮 照 向 宝 蓝 色 花 朵 上 的 一 滴 水 —
那 个 孩 子 最 后 的 眼 泪 。
突 然 整 朵 花 明 亮 的 盖 过 了 天 上 月 亮 ，
因 为 所 有 的 小 花 都 听 见 了 ，
听 见 了 孩 子 最 后 的 愿 望 —
" 我 希 望 ， 我 们 大 家 永 远 在 一 起 幸 福 的 生 活 ， 永 远 都 不 分 离 ... "
那 个 孩 子 感 动 了 老 人 ，
他 并 没 有 让 孩 子 消 失 ，
而 是 作 为 花 的 妖 精 永 远 守 护 著 这 朵 花 。
E. L. F. — 大 家 这 样 叫 著 那 个 孩 子 。
Ever Lasting Friends ...
我 们 永 远 在 一 起 ...
大 家 都 传 述 著 这 样 的 真 理 ：
这 朵 花 有 十 四 朵 小 花 ，
从 利 特 开 始 ， 到 E. L. F. 结 束 ...
而 且 只 有 ， 相 守 永 远 ...

(;
(Nah, I didn't write this. :P Wish I did though.)

I've decided.
Or rather accepted something.
(:

I'll wait for you at the thirteenth month of the year, always.

<3

xoxos.

Labels: super junior

(I get this feeling the picture is photoshopped, but, whatever. (: )

Merry Christmas everyone (:

-Santa, you know what I want.-
-piaos back to writing SMSF ^^ [uh that's a fanfic. I NEED TO START ON CAP OMG -dies-]-
(:

xoxos.

I want to believe, want to believe that the world is believable, want to believe that the world is still mainly good, want to.

But I don't dare to.



I think I'm born to be sarcastic. 8D
Oh yeah.

/edit/

OMG first day of school schedule.
._.
(Yeah I started looking down the column at "sec 2" before I caught myself -.-)
(At this rate I'll be walking into the 213 classroom on the first day of school next year.)
(OMG I MISS THE BEFORE-ASSEMBLY-213-RANDOMING SESSIONS. .______.)
(Omg I miss everyone. -sigh-)

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT I'M GOING TO BE A SEC3?!
A Sec3 with no more slack lessons (unless you count SIL... :P), a Sec3 starting in a new class with new people (._. I'm feeling apprehensive about my new classmates even though I know most of them are nice people... but uh I don't exactly get along with everyone/anyone as long as she's nice -.-), a Sec3 with ANOTHER batch of juniors (o.O yeah I'm still not used to having juniors -.-), a freaking Sec3 who's going to be studying subjects that I myself picked out...

2009 still seems as if it's been a dream, and you're telling me it's going to be 2010 already.

GAH I WANT TO BE IN 313 WITH ALL THE NON-SMTP-NON-HP 213er + 212ers .________.
-sigh-

Resisting change. ._.

Okay maybe by the end of Sec4 I'll be loving 410 as much as I love 213. ._.
MAYBE. That's a very big "maybe" there.
.____________.

I dunno, I want to go back to the start of 2009.
Yeah Santa, that's what I want for Christmas. :D

Sigh.

xoxos.

Labels: 213, pointless

我要回到2005年了，有人让我带话给你们家IDOL

我要回到2005年11月06日了
有人要我带话给你们家爱豆吗
哪家爱豆都可以 出道没出道都可以
没话要带的 就祝我一路顺风吧


节选各楼回复：


你告诉他们
赶快出道吧
会有一大批人爱他们的



跟他们讲注意安全
开车小心
多休息，别累着了，会有很多关心他们的人。



跟我家孩子们说
说话注意点
开车小心点
还有 那些什么法律啊让公司搞清楚了弄明白了再出道。。



..带给工作人员吧..
让他们整一个漂亮点的面具..谢谢..
涂漆多麻烦还是一次性的



告诉他们，虽然你们现在在霓虹很艰难，但是要坚持，你们会有熬出头的那一天。。。。。



叫他们在07年4月19日不要坐车
希澈也不要在06年8月坐车
叫他们09年9月多点陪一下强仁,最好留他在家



告诉韩庚，
从2005年11月19日开始，他的路会很坎坷，
告诉他，不要那么委屈自己，
累了要休息，疼了要哭出来
受伤了，就不要去跳那个跺脚舞，
多爱自己一点，才会让爱他的人多安心一点~
谢谢楼主了~



告诉05年的小海多多注意爸爸的身体
告诉希澈06年8月10日注意安全多带俩司机



告诉他们13个
好好当个小正常人
别出来当明星了
过自己的生活
该当学生的好好当学生
是时候就交个女朋友
结婚生子....健健康康
并且一定要快乐



告诉某人，骨折了会疼的，要去医院！！
告诉某某人，06年8月10日在家休息吧。。
告诉某某某，要多和爸爸在一起。。
告诉某某，要多休息，腰疼很难受的。。
告诉某某，09年9月在家安分的不要出去。。。少喝酒。。。><
告诉某四个人，一起出门一定要多多注意，小心安全！！！



楼主能不能告诉2005年的我
11月6号有个叫SUPER JUNIOR的你深爱的组合要出道了
这样我就可以早点爱上你们了



告诉他们
会有很多人爱他们 让他们放心的出道
跟他们说也许以后会发生一些不愉快的事但是一定要坚强
告诉他们 珍惜彼此
告诉他们,有很多人等着他们.
还有告诉他们 如果决定了就要坚持.爱他们的人都会支持他们的.

告诉他们，要注意身体
告诉他们，要等着还有一位亲人的加入
告诉他们，要遵守交通规则
告诉他们，要多陪陪父母家人
告诉他们，要少喝酒
告诉他们，要出13人的专辑，要开13人的演唱会
最重要的，要告诉他们，他们组合的名字叫ELF，fan的名字要叫做super junior

告诉他们：你们会有一群陪伴你们到最后一天的朋友，纵使她们可能没有机会，亲眼看全你们，但是你们会刻在她们心里，即使痛，想必，依然会再来一次。
告诉他们：那个后来会加入的孩子，他有些别扭，他不爱表现出被感动或很感激的情绪，甚至连喜欢和爱，都不愿意表露在外面，所以啊，是个别扭的孩子，他其实是单纯的，他会因为最年幼而思想不成熟，尽管你们都会嘲笑他太腹黑太狡猾，但是他很幼稚，他会把你们当做亲哥哥一般，所以请跟他好好相处。记着叫他不要老说大云哥不好，大云哥表面上不在意，其实听的时候会生气的哦，不过最后他依然会原谅他。如果可能，多防范车行问题。
告诉他们：多多的给基范说话，说到他烦掉也要继续跟他说话。
告诉他们：珍惜跟爸爸妈妈爷爷奶奶在一起的时间，不要装作不耐烦。
告诉他们：任何时候都不要沮丧。
告诉他们：不要相信网上吵吵闹闹的一切纷争，真心爱的人，是不会舍得以你们为引来不计后果发泄不满的，所以不要担心那些吵架的人。
告诉他们：你们会有一群眼泪做成的团饭，但是奇怪的是她们会很坚强而且执着，一直都要坚持到最后一刻为止，坚持到他们都不要她们了为止。她们经常叫着“大哥二哥三哥……”，她们会因为害怕你们中的某些看不见她们而把心低到尘埃角落里，但她们会看着你们，默默用双手支撑你们，走到最后。
告诉他们：如果到了最后，他们聚了而散了的那天到了，能不能笑着跟我们说再见。如果可以，能不能说，我们会把ELF这个名字记在心里。
----------------------
最后，请楼主带话给我的本命：如果真有09年的那样的一天，你要一夜长大，不要再任性得像个孩子，还有，你会有我们在，不要让自己受伤。你说过不死不放弃，你既然相信奇迹，那么，你就要知道，你是上帝给我们的礼物，你不会孤单。如果真有那么一天，成熟起来，不要任性的事了，如果依然做了，那么请记住至少有一个人会理解他，知道他只是因为往日如此的放心和信任，得知之后一时的难以理解罢了，然而我知道他会立刻明白过来，请让他不要害怕，不要怀疑，释然地把人生的路走下去。



叫SM里的孩子,能不做艺人就不要做艺人,
如果非做不可,那也不要太投入感情,过过瘾就撤...
还有,天下无不散的宴席...
跳错舞步,顶不上去高音没关系,重要的是要有好身体
在说句讨打的话,俊英啊,和你韩庚哥一起出道吧...



麻烦你告诉金丽旭
可不可以请他不要来中国
省得离开的时候我揪心难过



告诉他好好珍惜和爸爸一起的日子 。
告诉那个小小少年，会有很多人爱他宠他，请他一直霸道任性快乐下去。
告诉他无论以后发生什么事情， 我们都会很爱他。
告诉他 我们会一直在。
呃 还有就是....记得无论何时发型都要漂漂亮亮的... = =



可以带我一起去么
貌似不行
那...就告诉他近几年的彩票号码
让他们买彩票
有钱了就不用受苦了


告诉小兔子，2009年12月12号他会被天外飞橘KISS到，记得带锅盔上场~~~
告诉金起范，2008年11月22日，有人在8区等着他望过来，不要只走向另一边~~~



麻烦楼告诉他 他高兴了就出来唱歌 不高兴了就回家打星际
告诉他07年4月19号不要坐车



叫某人不要因为朋友比他先出道而一个人躲在家里哭了
他马上就会有一帮兄弟宠他惯着他
叫那4个孩子好好的，换个安稳的师傅。
就算坐车也要保护好自己
叫某人多陪陪爸爸
叫某人不要那么急着回首尔，多陪陪那个弟弟
那天别急着走
叫某人能和哥哥们在一起的时候就多呆在一起
以后要当演员的人
在此以前多多和哥哥们联系感情吧
表害羞了
叫某人少喝酒少开车
告诉他无论怎么样
我们都在背后不离不弃



告诉庚要小心身体，疼不要忍着，说不定是骨折
告诉澈06年8月10号那天不要急着赶回去，迟到也没关系
告诉特、童、赫、贤07年4月19号那天不要出门，千万不要出门
告诉SJ的其他人09年的9月多陪强仁在家里喝酒，别出门喝酒了
告诉每一个人要多注意身体，我很心疼
其实最重要的是告诉他们，换个公司吧，虐死我了。。。



告诉他们08年会金融危机 赚的韩元都换成RMB最保险
然后多买点黄金 有钱就到中国来买房买股票 然后07年底抛掉




李小孩 多陪陪你爸爸 多带他去医院做定期检查
金希希 少喝酒 开车要小心 别总急着赶通告 买车要买保险系数高的 前面钢板厚的
特叔叔 别去惹金妍儿 好好保重身体
大茄子 别喝酒了 少泡吧 晚上回宿舍去多待待 喝了酒就别开车
小赫在 什么都别担心 你以后会越来越帅的



告诉他们有事的时候不要上网不要听乱七八糟的消息。
相信自己。
照顾好自己。不要弄得一身病。
早点找个女朋友。大龄男青年要解决终身大事。
好好吃饭。



某人 在09年12月21日不要更新CY
还有不要出道在家当一个平凡的人
至少不会被别人伤害啊



2005年的时候，请告诉那12名在练习室里不分昼夜联系的孩子，

请放心出道吧，你们的身后会有一群最坚强的孩子守护着你们。

难过的时候要哭，受伤的时候要休息。

不要被SM骗了，不要签那么长的专属合约。

最好，换个公司吧。

12个人，等到第13名再出道，

那个时候也不迟。

换个有良心的公司吧。

会让你们好好休息，好好工作的公司。

会让你们13名在一起，出专辑，开演唱会，赶通告的公司。

不是那个演唱会开完就发专辑，专辑宣传期很短，可是一结束就要接着开演唱会的公司。

还有，晚上少出门，要找技术好的司机。

有什么事就说出来吧，不要闷在心里。

不要喝闷酒。

如果，做不到这些的话，就不要出道了。

好好收拾一下，回家吧。

就做一个最简单的孩子。

留在父母身边，好好学习，好好交个女朋友，好好结婚，好好生活。

好好地幸福...




我想..

告诉朴正洙.不要进sm.不要叫利特.不要哭.因为你哭起来真的很难看.要永远最朴正洙的大笑..>_<

告诉金希澈.继续当个每天重复工作的小工人.娶个善良的女人陪你走一生.相信你的宝宝会是最漂亮的..虽然我看不到...

告诉韩庚.你一定可以考上大学.一定可以当个最优秀的老师..四千块一个月挺好的..也可以算是小康了...呵呵...

告诉金钟云.他可以不要那么勉强自己..他还有更大舞台..就算不进sm你还有更大的选择相信自己的声音相信自己..

告诉金英云.不要那么冲动..开车小心..不要一开就开到sm去.否则你得为减肥大伤脑筋...

告诉申东熙..胃口大开是好事..可要注意自己的饮食健康...其实便宜的五花肉真的不好吃对吧...

告诉李晟敏.以后不会有一个别称叫兔子的人..更不会有个喜欢像哥哥弟弟撒娇却又不油腻的人..平凡人的生活其实更自在不是吗...

告诉李赫在.真的其实你很帅.不用老是跟增高鞋垫过不去..相信你自己可以走好你一辈子的人生...那个人生跟明星无关...

告诉李东海..不要那么单纯也不要倔强...跟爸爸多喝喝酒谈谈心..真心拥抱一次爸爸.那样就不会有遗憾.

告诉崔始源.不要为了符合别人而改变自己..坚持走自己的路..不进sm你也会是神最疼的孩子..因为你懂得怎样为别人付出...

告诉金丽旭.不要不好意思面对真实的自己..害羞可以..但自信也要..想要唱歌就当个音乐老师吧.你的钢琴你的作曲都是最棒的.不会有人怀疑...

告诉金基范.继续做着最简单的华侨.永远挺着属于你自己的胸膛走下去.那个"杀人微笑"会跟着你的消失而消失..但还是希望你别勉强自己.所以还是别回韩国了.特别是某公司.

告诉曺圭贤.那么喜欢游戏你就继续蹲在游戏里别出来..偶尔一边唱歌一边游戏也挺快哉..永远不要坐上那辆车.那我就永远都看不到你跟死神擦肩而过的镜头...

告诉05年的自己..
别看某人的照片而讨厌某人..也许那就是你多年之后最爱的某只...
所以大方一点的跟自己说...人是需要相处的..所以宽容一点...
告诉2010年的自己...
十三还是十三..会是最完美十三...
我们.还没有走到尽头...
so..加油...

I just want to say.......
I need to send UFOs. Leave comments on Cyworlds. Or Suju's official websites.
Or something.

BECAUSE YOU GUYS AREN'T ALONE.

(Wait what I'm saying has no relevance to the going-back-to-2005 thing =.= Okay whatever.)

Okay I've once thought that if anyone in Suju leaves I will stop loving them immediately...
But then I realised I CAN'T do that.
如果他们只剩下我们了...
I can't. I won't leave them.
XP

Oh, I'm merely a blind anxious fool. (:

xoxos.

Labels: super junior

Life isn't easy for anyone.

Go deal with it, why don't you.



The world needs more innocence.

/edit/
I'm really... amazed? scared? by everything I've forgotten.
I DON'T WANT TO FORGET 213'09. OH MY GOSH.
Sigh.

nononono. please no.

At least I'll be seeing Yuhan (and probably Limjia and Zouyan and Gaoge = every 213 French-er (who all happen to not be in the same class as me next year =.=) ) next year in French.
Sigh. The little ways that we manage to keep in touch, huh? (:

CLASS LUNCH. CLASS LUNCH. CLASS LUNCH. ^^

xoxos.

Labels: 213

Oh my freaking gosh even my dreams... are telling me... that I need to do something.

.______________.
Orz.

FINE. FINE. FINE.
I WILL DO IT OKAY.

.___________.

xoxos.

You know you're pathetic when you're comforted by your own words.
I keep telling myself, I need to be strong.
Strong enough to protect other people. Protect Kyuhyun and Jungsoo and Heechul and Hangeng and Donghae and Hyukjae and Jongwoon and Kibum and Yongwoon and Siwon and Ryeowook and Donghee (... just realised how similar that sounds to Donghae... XD (: ) and Sungmin and... ELFs.
And other people too. People in real life whom I wish I can protect but can't.

Sigh.

I think my mind is going bonkers on me. Yay. Like my mind is jumping around and jumping beyond the thoughts that normal people think (?! yeah like this sentence).
._______. Maybe I'm on my way to becoming 4-dimensional too 8D

Or maybe I'm just going to become some crazy psychopathic person 8D
(If I do end up like that at least let me be like Sylvia Plath. :P I want to be able to write well... :P)

Sigh.

Creativity and insanity.
How do you tell the difference?

xoxos.

Labels: pointless, super junior

Are you happy?

OMG SUPER JUNIOR THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT THAT I'M STILL HERE NOW (and going to be once again late for CIP).

I understand.
Yes I do.

Park Jungsoo Kim Heechul Hangeng Cho Kyuhyun STAY STRONG. (:

Because we will. We will always be strong, we will be your strength.
Please.

Lee Hyukjae Lee Donghae, stay strong too.

Kim Yongwoon Kim Kibum, stay strong.

Kim Jongwoon Shin Donghee Lee Sungmin Choi Siwon Kim Ryeowook stay strong.

ELFS, STAY STRONG.

My breath is shaking, my heart is shaking, but I'm staying strong.

oh my.
oh, oh, only for you.

I love you.

(And I need to chiong off for CIP now so...)

Miduhyo.

xoxos.

(And uh this has no relevance to this post whatsoever but I'm really sorry Jasmine ._. ._. ._.)

Labels: super junior

I've got this list of songs to describe how I feel now.

:P

1) Miduhyo
2) Believe
3) It's You
4) Seven Years of Love
5) One Love
6) 背叛 (Hangeng version)
7) 愚人码头 (Hangeng version)
8) 我们的爱 (Ryeowook version)
9) 童话 (SJM version)
10) Doushite Kimi Wo Suki Natte Shimattandarou
11) 到了明天
12) Marry You

Got a new playlist up, only contains a few of the songs that I mentioned above though. (:

Believing until there's nothing left to believe in.

MIDUHYO.

xoxos.

Labels: lists, super junior

Okay now I'm angry.

1) Allkpop is rubbish.
2) China news (and honestly, sina? that isn't even that reliable) is rubbish too.
3) YOU THINK YOU CAN JUDGE CHO KYUHYUN?!

Elaborations on #3.

Oh please. Do you even KNOW him?
SINCE WHEN DOES CHO KYUHYUN MEAN THINGS AT THE CONTEXTUAL LEVEL?!
Please don't insult his IQ, tyvm.

And do you think his tears were FAKE in EHB?!
Of. Course. The. Group. Matters. To. Him.
I believe he won't pick SME over his group members. I believe he won't even pick singing over his group members.
I believe so, and Cho Kyuhyun you'd better not let me down.
Or you're out of my life for good.
I'm serious.

And honestly speaking what he posted seemed more to be of the inter-Suju relationship.
I personally think what he meant was that, Super Junior won't do things to harm one another among themselves.

Now I'm not going to pretend as if I know him all that well and everything, but... oh gosh what's the point of bashing him.
I mean if you're an ELF and you bash Kyuhyun YOU're breaking up the group yourself. -.-
So don't be a hypocrite.

Stop jumping to conclusions people.

Gosh. -.-

I BELIEVE THEM.
BELIEVE ALL 13 OF THEM.
I BELIEVE THEY PUT THE GROUP ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE.
... if they don't, there's no point in me loving them anymore.

:P

That being said...
I don't know.

Miduhyo.

/edit/

Cho Kyuhyun's CY BGM update: Believe/Super Junior

If he says believe, if anyone in Super Junior tells me to believe, I will.

Kim Heechul's CY background changed to solid black.
BGM: ... I'm not sure of the title, think it's Secret Garden?

Lyrics
Now let the day
Just slip away
So the dark night
May watch over you
Nocturne

Though darkness lay
It will give way
When the dark night
Delivers the day

Kim Heechul, are you telling us, there's hope beyond the night?

If he tell us to hope, we will hope.

^^

On a more... light-hearted? note, the coincidence of it all freaks me out, in a way.
In July Leeteuk updated his CY with the numbers 1221. Soon he deleted the post.
1221. 21 december.
In 2012 21 december is supposed to be the day when the world ends.
OMG.
:P :P :P
Freaked out.

2005到2012刚好七年。如果2012是世界末日 那我们对他们的爱到世界末日那天才会停止。不管未来如何 起码此刻我们在一起。Suju&elf.forever.

omg I'm getting goosebumps. :P

for me, it's only you.

oh whatever whatever anyone says, I'll only look at you.

miduhyo.

xoxos.

Labels: super junior

I won't pretend I've been this cool from the start.
Won't pretend I wasn't upset.
Won't pretend I wasn't accusing him.
But I've cooled down.
I think.

I know I'm childish. SO KILL ME. WHATEVER.

Point is, it's different now. (:



And seriously since when has China news been reliable =.=

Waiting for the final say, no matter what.

But seriously, this is what I have to say about this entire situation.
NO MATTER WHAT.



Miduhyo.
I believe.
我相信.
Je crois.

韩庚是靠的住谱的人.
我知道.
我相信.

Believing, believing beyond the point of believe, believing to the point of no return.
Because I don't want to return.

"我已不能回头."
That's true, you know.

(:

Sarangheyo Super Junior.

MIDUHYO.

Cassiopeia's done it.
ELF is going to do it too.

<3>

/edit/

Wait.

Thought of one thing.

I have my 底线. My borderline.

The line lies at, the intact-ness of Super Junior.

ONLY 13 FOREVER 13.
No matter what.

It'll be that way for everyone. Even Park Jungsoo. Even Cho Kyuhyun. Even Lee Donghae.
Heck even Lee Hyukjae.

This, is all I want.
(Except for the fact that I want Kim Yongwoon and Kim Kibum to really, be physically there, and not just some photoshopped on version.)
(But you get what I mean, right?)



Is that too much I'm asking for?

xoxos.

Labels: super junior

This... 贴... had me... spraying blood... at the computer screen... XD
(ELF/Cassies please continue reading. Non-ELFs/Cassies won't get what this post is about so nvm :PP)

Excerpts:

[Geography] 东海的西侧 = 东海的希澈- -

[Music] “在中亚细亚的草原上”

[Chinese] "啊，我思念那洞庭湖，我思念那长江，【我思念那东海】，"

我们家还有块广告牌：【金】日【在】手【中】.......

有天，一名俊秀的聪明如神童的小海（小孩）走在银河（银赫）上。马路在中间，东海在右边，炊事员跟在后边，有个叫强仁的孩子，利特大！（力特大.....）他说：艺声一世爱你，我的晟敏！说完后吃了鸡饭，洗车（希澈- -）去了。

我们学校有一摆地摊的，天天卖滑板，滑板（- -花瓣...）上写着：super-滑板！.........

Orz Or2 OTz OTZ OTL.
orz or2 oTz oTZ oTL.
(Sorry I've always wanted to type that. XD)

^^

Okay yay people we've successfully made Xuedi broke (in China -.-) 8DD
Ahem I claim most of the credit ahem. :PP
Lalalalala my No.1015 calendar omg~ ^^
-true spirit of splurge-r-ism 8D-

/edit/
I realise on the day I demanded for 深蓝 updates zuishidonghai really updated O_____O
Orz to myself. XD



Love this parody, love the ending. (:
The trio exists within 13 (: ^^

xoxos.

Labels: fangirlism

So?
What did you expect anyway?



I'm too lazy to talk to anyone nowadays.

^^

No, I don't actually think that I need a familiy after all.

xoxos.

SING-ALONE-SONG@BS IS NOW OFFICIALLY MOVED TO sunn-ynightsky.blogspot.com/

:D

Please look forward to more randomings there :D

lovelove(:
-and playlist, I demand you to loaaaaaaaad.-

xoxos.

Frankly speaking, I'm just a childish person trying to pretend to be mature.

Then again, kids all love to play make belief, don't they.

:P

Ah well.

I DESPO-LY NEED THE SCHOOL YEAR TO RESTART SO THAT I CAN RESTART TOO.
-bangs head on wall-
Excuses.
Since you're going to let go anyway, why not now.

So I'm going to test myself.

Li Xinzhuo don't disappoint me again. Please.

Sigh.

Let's get back to the basics, shall we?
(:

xoxos.

If I can't love you forever, I'll be... your friend forever.

I'll always remember the 13 faces that can always make me smile.

(:

on and on, precious love.

Ever Lasting Friends.

比起恋人 我更想做的是你的朋友。

Idk maybe I've sank too deep, too far gone. :P
-shrug-

Taking things too far eh?
-shrug-
-shrug-
-shrug-

I don't know.

I'm so sorry but I love you.

Sorry sorry sorry sorry 是我是我是我是我 最先被你被你被你被你 迷惑迷惑迷惑 迷惑 baby.

I can't even escape it now.

I'm going crazy crazy baby.

Asleep or awake, the only truth I can see, is you.
I'm stupid stupid stupid.

You're really like a fantasy.

All of your thoughts or sadness, I would like to keep.

(:

I've got 13 14 13 and a half reasons to smile.

:D

/edit/
In need to stop caring about what other people think.

(Purely innocent comment: Midoyo is going to overtake Doushite and become my favourite DBSK song. -which actually isn't saying much considering how I only have like 7 DBSK songs in my phone... -.- -)

I need to stop piaoing around baidu -.-
:D

xoxos.

Labels: fangirlism, super junior

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG THE EUNHAE SHIPPER IN ME DIES DIES DIES DIES DIES. (Of the JOY. OH THE JOY THE JOY THE JOY. -uh the JOY here does not refer to 132 XDD yay no one shall understand what I'm saying.-)



LEE HYUKJAE I LOVE YOU FOR REPLYING LEE DONGHAE'S MESSAGE OH MY FREAKING GOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH.



I need to get home and high over this in 2H Palace omg.



Okay people who're O_Oing at this now, refer to below.
(Taken from 百度赫海wholEHeart吧)




OMG LEE HYUKHAE LOVE LOVE LOVE.
(And I think why Eunhyuk replied with "我的爱 李赫宰" was because Donghae previously left a message on his (as in Eunhyuk)'s CY that said "Hello my love. (Your love Lee Donghae)" -uh yeah English version because I too lazy type chinese :D-
SO YES HE'S QUOTING HIM OMG~~ -dies of happiness-

Okay I shall stop squealing like an idiot (silently) and go home and squeal some more 8D
(Eunhae rap rap~)

:D

on and on, precious love~
^^ ^^ ^^

-sorry for spamming my own blog like some idiot but OMG~ :D-

xoxos.

Labels: fangirlism, super junior

Sylvia Plath (or Esther Greenwood, whatever) might be crazy, but she's right about one thing.
Hot baths = the best way to cheer yourself up. And a good night's sleep. :P

I think my life is now officially filled with either fangirling or emoing. 8DD
-.- Oh, the no-life-ness of my life kills me. (... all (bad) puns not intended.)

Have I mentioned how I'm refusing to go memorize the script for Qingxiao's part in syf for auditions? :D (Because I'm refusing to audition actually. YOU. CAN'T. TAKE. ME. AWAY. FROM. MY. BACKSTAGE. AND. MY. PROPS. AND. MY. uh PMPs. AND. MY uh lousy MONEY-RECLAMATION FORMS. AND. MY. BLACK. PAINT. AND. MY. PLANS. OF. MAKING. THE. CHINESE. DRAMA. SIDE. OF. THE. DRAMA. STORE. UN.DEPRIVED. AGAIN.)
(Okay lah maybe I won't be daozhang next year and maybe I don't want to be and maybe I want to let someone else be it and maybe they won't want me to be it and maybe etc.)
(But still I LOVE DAOJU WITH MY HEART (even when it killed my mood + freetime + energy + uniform etc). :P)
(Especially when I can actually fit well into my black jeans again. :D)
Okay I shall stop ranting about CCA here when SL is like decomposing -.- :P

I shall either feel very honoured or freaked out that the staff at CCKPL seem to recognise me already.
EVEN (one of) THE CLEANER(s).
._________.
It's going to be quite freaky to have people smiling at you when you innocently slip in next year to borrow a book... :PPP
(I mean I was shocked enough when I discovered Ain still remembers me earlier on this year -.-)

Oh! I saw someone wearing a Super Junior Singapore Fanclub T-shirt in Lot 1 yesterday -.-
I started grinning insanely to myself. XD



Amused that the advent calendar thing in PS seems to be counting down to the end of the holidays instead of to Christmas for us.
So as more and more squares vanish instead of getting excited we just get... ._.

ARGH OH GOSH I NEED TO SERIOUSLY MAJORLY GET. WRITING. -bashes self up-

.____________.

Okay I shall piao off to read my newly replenished stock of Eunhae fanfics 8DD
(This has to be the most normal/crappy/average/comprehensible post I've ever posted in a long while -.-)

xoxos.

Omfg WHAT AM I STILL DOING HERE o_O
(And why am I bothering to ask what I'm still doing here instead of moving out of the chair -.-)

Lee Hyukhae this is your fault. :D

I NEED TO UPDATE MY PHOTO COLLECTION~~~~~~ :D




It's sad that other people remember how you were in the past, better than yourself. -shrug-



No one said it's going to be easy. :PP

In fact no one said anything about it.



Oh screw.

I don't understand circle properties. :D



Argh argh MOOD FOR AKILLA~~
:P

I've basically wasted my life commenting / piaoing around 2H Palace/BLG/DYers. 8DD
Because I was deprived of Eunhae fics :PP
LALALA.

我们用168小时过一辈子吧.
^^ Love 如若往生~ (:
Argh I demand 深蓝 updates.

Okay I demand myself to GET MOVING NOW.

Shucks I'm seriously going to be late. Yay me.

Here's to another 4 hours of aimless piaoing around the library and getting CIP hours for it :D

xoxos.

Shihui's analysis on the Sorry Sorry MV:

●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (9:58):
you know what that mv looks like
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (9:59):
it looks like the sort of korean drama where the poor people have to work and slave for this rich aristocrat [aka siwon]
[WAHAHA.. donghae and eunhyuk rapping is the funniest thing i ever seen]
/hikari.\ says (10:00):
... ?!
...
WHAAAT.
IT'S HOT OKAY.
:P
I don't care it's my beloved Eunhae rap ^^
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:00):
siwon just stands there and smirks to his reflection while putting on clothes
-.-
then he's like the only one smiling there like some rich aristocrat
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:01):
then all of them look so pained singing [constipated in sungmin's case]
/hikari.\ says (10:01):
......
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:01):
then heechul and ryeowook there working they're heads off on that table
/hikari.\ says (10:01):
okay I'm posting this on my blog :D
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:01):
HAHA
i'm honoured
xD
/hikari.\ says (10:01):
LOL -.- XD
okay continue with your analysis :D
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:02):
and shindong is like the butler for siwon
cuz he's there carefully putting chocolates on the table
and lighting candles
and carefully measuring the angle to put that needle from the gramophone down
[siwon smirks again]
ohoh
/hikari.\ says (10:02):
... -.- no actually the candle person is kangin
:P
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:03):
oh fine
2 butlers in the house then
and theres this part
/hikari.\ says (10:03):
=.=
-headdesk- okay.
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:03):
where heechul is closing the envelope
then throwing it on the table
and dying on his chair
then right after that siwon smirks
the sort of evil smirk
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:04):
thenthen
siwon goes to this high class party after finally putting on all his clothes
[ooh! the rap]
xDD
then
everyones drinking chardonnay or sth
then the people there are so rich
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:05):
that they popped open the bottle and spilt like half the contents on the floor
tsk tsk.. waste..
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:06):
then from the beginning you see siwon and ryeowook enjoying the wine in a cellar
[showing how rich siwon is having his own cellar]
and ryeowook is in charge of the cellar
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:07):
then uh..sungmin and eeteuk are in charge of.. making all the clocks in the house run right
;D
yesung and hankyung are in charge of what on earth is that..
looks like some high class pepper and salt shaker.. ._.
kay then~
they're in charge of meals
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:08):
then eunhyuk is in charge of bringing his master's pocket watch to him
and heechul's in charge of making coffee
;D
kyuhyun and shindong are in charge of music
and uh.. donghae is in charge of turning on the music
._.
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:09):
then you see the amount of beauty products siwon has on his dressing table
8D
then you see heechul working diligently
and eeteuk working until he's so tired he sleeps on the couch
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:10):
donghae has worked till he's gone crazy and dances in the park
eunhyuk too.. except he dances next to a telephone booth
._.
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:11):
eheh
kangin is completely mssing in this mv lorh!
except coming in to light candles
._.
ooh
/hikari.\ says (10:11):
.......
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:11):
theres also this shot of rows of beauty products
/hikari.\ says (10:11):
-I have got nothing to say-
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:11):
and then 4 expensive looking watches lying side by side
then say lol
;D
/hikari.\ says (10:11):
(no actually half of the headless shots are kangin)
..
/hikari.\ says (10:12):
...........
...........
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:12):
is my analysis enough?
;D
/hikari.\ says (10:13):
uh yeah. XD
oh wait.
I demand a part on the Eunhae rap.
XD
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:13):
._.
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:14):
uhmm
something about eunhyuk said
sounded like 'i realised, half the lies $&&$&^*$&@#$'
eheh
if you hear the rap
●̮̮•shihui●̮̮• says (10:15):
sounds like they're saying the smiling people are not smiling
and they're just pretending to smile
[on a side note i love the on & on precious love thing ;D]




-absolutely nothing to say-

XP

Okay uh, this is one way of looking at things... XDD
(And admittedly a better way than just going OMG TOO HOT. HOT. H-O-T. H.O.T. I CAN'T STAND IT. OMG -insert 11 names here- YOU GUYS ARE TOO HOT. -insert complaints about Kangin and Kibum here- etc etc. Which is what I've done. XD)

Lalala~

xoxos.

I













.
.
.

.

/edit/
Words are getting redundant.

I'm really sick of typing the words, "I don't know."
Because it sucks to admit that to yourself.

Omfg Li Xinzhuo stop binge-eating. I'm serious.

I don't know, somehow I can't be bothered anymore.

nonono.

What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

loser.

.

I've got this scene from 忌恋寂寞 stuck in my head.
"这是我能给你的, 最好的家."

On and on, precious love.

ONLY FOR YOU.

I don't wanna love you anymore. because I don't deserve to.

out of strength.

xxxx.

Labels: pointless

OPERATION SUPER GIRL PART 2~
Commerces to-morrow~~ ^^v



KH: -sceptical expression-

LL: WHAT! HAVE SOME FAITH IN ME.




RW: -sceptical expression-

LL: O_O Where did you come from?

RW: Don't you welcome me? -sad puppy eyes-

LL: ...... Kim Ryeowook I'd have thought you've became more MAN since Insomnia... Apparently I was wrong...


HC: -sceptical expression-

LL: ?!?!?!?!



EH: Did I hear someone say the words "Super" just now? WULI SUPER JUNIOR-OR~ Uh and I'm one of the subunits, Super Monkey Anchovy bling bling Jewel Guy Lee Hyukjae imnida~!

LL: Uh, supermonkeyanchovyblingblingjewelguy LEE HYUKJAE, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!

EH: -shrug- Uh, encouragement?

KH: Oi, that's supposed to be my job!

LL: (barely audible) and a great job you've done too...

KH: I heard-

SM: KYU! THERE'RE LOTS OF BUBBLES! COME PLAY WITH US!

-Yesung nods encouragingly in background-

EH: BUBBLES? I LOVE BUBBLES!

-Ryeowook joins in too (except he's camera-shy so yeah, he wasn't in the picture. D: )-


KH: ...

LL: ...

-Heechul has gone to find Siwon and Hankyung a long long time ago. In case anyone's wondering where he went. -


KH: Oh, anyway, back to the topic of encouragement, HWAITING~

LL: -touched- Aw thanks Kyu.

KH: Glad to be of service. (;

LL: ... My dear you're spending too much time with Siwon. I mean, since when did you start saying "glad to be of service"?!

KH: Is that supposed to be a bad thing? (eyes clearly say, "I'll tell Siwon hyung if you say yes...")

LL: Uh, no, but don't you think we should all have, like, our own personality?

-the pair exits, deep in convo about some philosophical issue about personal identities and etc etc-

-Donghae appears-

DH: KYU! -notices there's no one left- (the bubble gang has piaoed off to somewhere else chasing bubbles...)


DH: Where's everyone? -sad-

-END OF MY NONSENSE :D-

Sorry just uh, too high over the pretty SSII fancam pics (I love their cameras man.) :P
Credits of all photos... Uh, please refer to logo :P
(And sidenote: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE LAST LEE DONGHAE PICTURE.)

(Some of my favourites aren't even posted here yet lorh (because I couldn't find a way to squeeze them in ._.) ._. :P Ah well it's okay, it's for my -ahem- private viewing pleasures -ahem- (of course I won't share pictures of Teuk being sprayed with water (and looking EXTREMELY seducive...) with -ahem- readers of my blog -ahem- :D)

And to end off I'm posting the banner that contained that extremely epic quote that I mentioned in my post yesterday :D


The best Suju, the best ELF and the best LOVE.
^^

xoxos.

Labels: fangirlism, super junior

Watching this video again... After yesterday... Just...
Makes me feel guilty.

I'm sorry.
Sorry Teuk. Sorry Hyuk. Sorry that we I let you down.

/edit @ 11.02pm/


Rewatching this MV, rerealising / renoticing the absense of Kim Kibum... -.-
But I like what someone said.
You know in the last shot? Eunhyuk was sitting on the armrest on one side of Kyu, and the other side is reserved for Kibum.

他一直都在.

I believe in you.
♥

xoxos.

Labels: super junior

I don't deserve it.

I wish that I can restart everything but nope, not so easy.

Oh gosh. Park Jungsoo tell me what to do.

/edit/
Oh my freaking gosh.
I love ELFs.
Seriously I love them to bits and pieces with all my heart.

I think Cho Kyuhyun rubs off, seriously.
死不了, 不放弃.

I don't deserve to call myself an ELF, seriously.
Park Jungsoo I don't deserve to love you.

There's time to learn and grow and change.
Okay then.

We've tried, I guess.
I know I've tried. Maybe it's not my best but I have tried.
I'm not guilt-free, but...
We've tried.
It's not good enough, but one day we will do it.

I know it's not helpful at all to think about "later"s, but...
That's what we have, isn't it.

xoxos.

Labels: pointless, super junior

Bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter.

I think all the coffee I've been drinking has gone straight to my brain.

OH WHAT.

Just freak out let it gooooooooooo.



I'm so sorry to everyone to whom I've once promised something but never kept my promise.
They probably all won't see this anyway (and I'll be severely freaked out if they end up seeing this...) but I just want to say it all the same.

But there's no turning back, you know? I can't just go back and act like nothing has happened. I can't just apologise and expect you guys to accept me again because it's. not. the. same.

And what about the promises I've made to myself? What about those?



Cliche as this sounds, seriously, everything changes too fast.
I want to stop things from changing, I want to put my arm out to hail the rushing flow of changes, but they just knock me over and down and oh, I don't know.

I don't know I don't know I don't know.
I want to put my hands over my eyes and pretend nothing is happening.
But my ears, are still wide open.



Hug ^^ (Not the DBSK song... I realised (after I thought of the title) that it's a song... Just like my other idea that I'm calling Twins before realising that's too a Suju song -.-)
Please, oh please don't let me screw it up.

I want to look into your eyes, have enough courage to stare right into your eyes for once, and cry and cry and never stop and maybe for once you won't push me away or look away and for once the world can disappear around us and we'll be alone and we'll always have each other. No matter what.
Don't ask me where did that above chunk of stuff come from. -shrug-

Maybe I want to go back to this time, 2 years ago.
Maybe.

I need to find some non-existent artistic talent in me and go make a "Warning: Fangirl on the loose" banner for myself. :P
Someone teach me how to photoshop things :D

Should I get a tagboard? :P

/edit/
I. Don't. Freaking. Believe. This.
MELON DOESN'T WORK ON MY COMPUTER WHAT THE HECK OMG.
-hides-
I want to hit people. Oh gah.



李东海举毛巾举上瘾了... Orz x 13 :P

13个人的组合,12个人的三辑,11个人的演唱会,满叔,你情何以堪...

Epicly classic. You've got to love banners.

/baby won't you play with fire./

xoxos.

Labels: pointless

This video makes you (okay me at least) want to scream shout cry and swear to love Super Junior forever until the end of time.

So maybe that's what I'll do.

xoxos.

Labels: fangirlism, super junior

Things that I need to do:

1) Stop talking crap. (For an example of crap, refer to previous post. XP)

2) Stop being some superficial person.

3) Stop being fickle.

4) Stop swearing words like "freak" and seriously stop using "hell". ._.

5) Stop slacking off and away and etc.

6) Stop developing a) split personalities b) bipolar disorders c) obsessive-compulsive disorders.

7) Stop drinking coffee. It's not good. Plus it doesn't help with anything.

8) Stop reiterating myself.

9) Stop obsessing over well. Stuff. :P

Oh yay greatness.

I don't care. Or trying not to anyway.
Problem is I don't know what am I caring about now.

It's not a jumble of thoughts.
Because there aren't thoughts.
And I find something wrong with that (of course there is.) and I try to put something in place to fill the blanks but I just get some weird concoction that's unidentifable.

I feel as if I'm being pushed from all directions.
Into something cold. And hard. That's not bulging.
I want to be knocked unconscious but I'm not. The impact is not great enough. But the constant force coming from all directions are suffocating me. Against that cold and hard thing.
Which actually isn't doing anything to suffocate me directly, actually.
It's just its pure existence that's the problem.



Feel like I'm a piece of litmus. Either blue or red. No intermediate.
From one extreme to another.



I've got images from the Seoul Song video stuck in my head.



I dunno, but it seems to be not working anymore.

Guess I need a new brand of anti-depressants. (not to be taken literally. duh.)
Too bad. I liked the old one a lot.

But it's gone.
Gone and not coming back.

I may chase after it, at top speed, running fast as I can.
But not fast enough.
Never fast enough.
Never good enough.

It's not going to change, and it has changed.



I'm not sure if this is how I want things to go any longer.

-rubs temples-

I don't even know what's my problem.

It's all just part of my imagination. Like everything else I guess.

/edit/
You don't have to measure up to anything.
(:

/edit 2/
Fickle + nonsensical + repetitive + fake + act of pretendence + extremes = my life.

xoxos.

Labels: lists, pointless

I don't know anymore.

Dear, you're fighting a losing battle here.
(Uh. Can't remember that quote from PoA, you know what the mirror in the pub -._. I can't remember the name of the pub in Diagon Alley either -.- Okay it's seriously time for me to go start reading again :P- said to Harry... Yeah. :P Plus I mainly read it in Chinese so uh. :P)

Nostalgic for simple stupid little things.
Sigh.
Make that extremely so.

I feel entirely drained after that last post. Heh. :P

Oh, great man.

This post shall not make sense.

/edit/
O_______________________O
Park Jungsoo I demand to know what the hell are you talking about with your "December is a season to think about life and death".

Freak you Park Jungsoo. Stop reading my mind. GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY.
You. Urgh. Urgh. Urgh. -whackbash-

sklfjwsoweiruwojxocvjsodiweiowusosdssxeroi.

I'm going utterly i-n-s-a-n-e.
I need retail therapy. Omo.

Who wants to go drill a hole in your earlobe with me? :D
(I finally asked my mom and she said yes (after asking me "very fashion meh" with that sceptical look XP I couldn't have very well told her, uh yeah because the man I love has 2 earholes in his left earlobe and I want the same. Because that isn't the full reason. Just about 50% of it. :P). Except I utterly don't dare to tell my grandmother -.- Oh the hurdles I need to overcome on my way to life with 3 earholes. XD)
(And my mom told me don't ever think about getting belly piercings ._. -I'll need to lose like 20kg before I dare to get one of those, partially because I'll need to reveal my belly at the piercing parlour alone and I won't want the person to get shocked to death by the size of it alone. XDD :P Not like I'll want one. So far. XD-)

Oh freak freak freak I need my supply of endorphins. -.- (Yeah so much about swearing less.)
Graaaaaaaah.

I officially can't identify the first singer in Sorry Sorry remix O_O I get this feeling it's Yesung but idk... :P
AND SERIOUSLY KIM RYEOWOOK YOU HAVE THE EASIEST-TO-IDENTIFY VOICE EVER ^^

I fangirl and everything's okay again. I sigh.
Oh lala.

/edit of edit/
Oh fickle fickle.
I sigh at myself.

(And I forgot to say, the reason why this post is titled Meadow is entirely because uh, I want to see something green. And soft. Which is a meadow. With blue skies overhead. And I can take my laptop there and... we'll see how life goes. :P)

Fresh air, oh fresh air.

/edit of edit of edit/
CIP was ._. I walked until my feet (still) feel dead to me -.-

I spent $70 already on stupid (necessary) stuff like Ezlink handphone (yes I can finally reply smses again. yay.) Harry Potter books (-ahem my darling friend Jasmin from primary school is seriously never going to return me my books so I've decided to blow $30 on them. Yay me. BUT DEATHLY HALLOWS MAKES IT WORTH IT. :P So yeah I've got it now. Yay.-). ._.
Oh gah I still need earphones. The only type that looks nice all cost $40 -.- -.- -.- Wow... (And I'm not even sure if they're compatible with my earphones but the Sony one should be very okay right... ._.) But after I buy them I'll be seriously severely moneyless and I still want to pierce my ears and TS outings (which will come someday...) and class outings (which will come someday too...) which all need mooooooney.
.__________.
Oh lalala.

Okay I haven't even came to the main reason as to why I wanted to edit this post.
GOLDEN DISK AWARDS.
EUNHYUK LEE HYUKJAE PABO DON'T CRY OH GAH. LEETEUK PARK JUNGSOO ULTIMATE PABO DON'T CRY AND YOU'RE SICK OH MAN WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH YOU.
Omg Lee Donghae. You just broke my heart there. ._______.
(Park Jungsoo and Lee Hyukjae were like salt to the wound... :P)
(And omg Cho Kyuhyun. -I seriously sigh.- I though you were supposed to be the strong one among my Top4 :P -okay granted you are, but uh, I seriously think you're spending too much time with Lee Donghae, the sensitiveness is starting to rub off... :P It's not a bad thing lah, just that my heart is even MORE prone to breaking now. YAY. -.-)
-okay I haven't watched the clip where they actually received the prize yet and I seriously don't want to know who else cried ._. :PP- Oh you guys. -hughug- (:
Omg I'm extreme, touched, and everything.
We said 2009 would be the year for Super Junior.
Oh gah MELON. I HATE KOREAN IDs. .___________.

Oh and I was watching Sorry Sorry remix live @ GDA and you know there's the KRY part in front... Then the rest of Suju were behind the white uh, veil-ish thing? And how the light was shone on them from behind so their silhouttes were casted on the "veil"?
Omg that image is omg.
And it made me think of this sentence, "You'll never be alone."
:PP

I. Love. The. Eunhae. Rap. To. Bits. And. Pieces. ^^
Lee Donghae go cut your hair. I'M SERIOUS. :P Fishes shouldn't have long hair. :D
Lee Hyukjae I love your wine-red streaks in your hair. Omg.

(Since we're on the topic of hair...)
Lee Sungmin your hair... looks... weird... fringe fringe fringe fringe...
CHO KYUHYUN YOU. NEED. A. FRINGE. I'm sorry but I'm against 狼奔头s (yeah when my own hairstyle is... uh... you'll probably prefer no-fringeness to the fringe I currently have. :P But I plan to shock my new class on the first day of school anyway. Which is not really good because I'm supposed to leave a good impression and - Okay I've gone majorly offtopic. Yay.) on everyone :P
And you two ah. No fringe also must no fringe together. I sigh at you XD

Park Jungsoo I want to hug you.
I've always wanted to, but extremely so tonight :PP XD
Oh wait. Hair. Aiyah yours is perfect lah. ^^
Kangin is... not here... So no Kangteuk couple comments... ARGH. ._____. Kangin Kim Yongwoon you eggplant (...) we're waiting for you. (: It's depressing to see Kyu singing the "accompanyment" to... the tape recording. -sigh-

CHOI SIWON. YOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOU. WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU MEAN TO DO TO US EH? NO SHIRT? ONLY BLAZER?! Make that an UNBUTTONED blazer?! What on earth are you trying to do eh just because Kibum is off filming movies? :P
Oh wait. Hair.
Okay it's finally no longer the O_Oish Super Girl hairstyle. I'm very glad about that. :D
Kim Kibum... you aren't here but anyway, your recent 女鬼 (okay fine so you're supposed to be a male ghost but anyway...) hair ah... YOU'D BETTER GO CUT IT :P I loved the Full House hair~~ Go cut it like that again~~~ XD And oh finish filming earlier you pabopabopabo I hate counting to only 12 (or now, 11 .____.) in pictures/videos D: D: D: .____.

Kim Heechul, please go get your haircut together with Lee Donghae, tyvm. I still don't like long wavy hair on anyone :P (Hey Kyu's Sorry Sorry hairstyle was short wavy hair okay :P -okay fine it's relatively long for him but honestly it's nothing beside Heechul's... XD)
Hangeng... No hairstyle change... :P (Okay lah even if it changed I can't tell :P Geng's hair's always about the same (: But the look never ever ever gets old on him (: :D)

Shindong ahahahahaha I still love your mushroom head. XDD

Yesung... I like your hairstyle the way it is/has been since Sorry Sorry :D :D ^^
Kim Ryeowook your fringe = love. :D
BUT KIM RYEOWOOK YOUR VOICE CONDITIONS. YOUR VOICE WAS ALMOST BREAKING TODAY. OMG GO DRINK WATER + HONEY AND WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO OKAY. OMG SS2@nanjing IS 2 DAYS LATER AND PARK JUNGSOO ALREADY HAS A FLU OMG YOU'D BETTER TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
.___________.
I swear one intensive week of SJM activities in Taiwan + GDA + SSII = killer. I HATE YOU SME.

Yup that's everyone. (: :D

AND OMG BEAT IT! XDD Omg Leeteuk omg omg omg.
OMG EUNHYUK OMGOMGOMG MOONWALK OMGOMGOMG.
-ahem I demand to know where's Donghae. :PPP Okay lah he wouldn't have had any time to rehearse... -glareSJMglareglareglare- I glare at SJM for breaking up my Eunhae. .______. Lalala.- (I take back the glares as soon as I think of Kyuhae.)

Oh wow this post is seriously freaking long now :D Thanks to the many many edits :DD Yay~

I'M THE GIRLFRIEND OF THE 13 MOST WONDERFUL MEN EVER. ^^
I love you Park Jungsoo.

Gah I have this (quite nice, if I'll say so myself :P) idea for a fanfic (ahem Eunhae ahem) but I don't think I'm getting time to write it tonight :P (Wasted it all on fangirling \o/ :P) And I can't stay up too late, CIP tomorrow at 8 ._.
(And I never got to writing Beliefs. Oh gah.)
Lalala I'll do that later (literally... it's 0.25am now...). Serious. I need to finish up #49 in the Suju 100 challenge :P

Ahh tons of writing to do tomorrow. 8D

xoxos.

Labels: fangirlism, pointless, super junior

I'm getting irritated, honestly.
I guess I'm sort of asking for it, what with me piaoing around LJ communities. I KNOW that English-speaking fans, are mostly against Only 13, so called.
Which doesn't make much sense to me, honestly speaking. I mean you would have thought that Chinese ELFs would like Henry and Zhoumi more, for the pure reason that they speak the same language alone. Plus it's always easier to identify with someone who's from the same country as you. (Okay so Henry may not count but hey, he's still Chinese. Even if he grew up in Canada.)

But I'm seriously irritated by how they seem to treat us Only 13 fans (yeah it's us Only 13 fans. ^^v) as if we're something evil and vile and etc etc that's meant to be despised. Oh please.

We are not against Henry and Zhoumi as people. We're just against the idea of them joining Super Junior.

Actually it's all SM's fault, honestly speaking.
Why the subgroups, why. I don't like it at all.
I don't like any of the subgroups, actually. Not even SJH or SJT or even SJKRY.
It really seems that Super Junior is just a money making tool and all they mean to SM is... a way to gain the most revenue out of them.
4 subgroups makes more money than one group.

That's the plain and simple fact.

And maybe one day SM would decide, 13 artistes make more money than a group of thirteen too!

Okay not likely. By then they would have new, younger artistes, who would be able to make even more money for SM in the long run.

Actually I think it's sad. Stupid and sad.
We're fighting so hard for something that's just going to end anyway.

I don't know, but we're fighting anyway, because we need to for the people we love. It's an obligation. Even if we're fighting a losing battle, we aren't giving up.
For those little moments of happiness and joy and plain bliss, we would fight on. Even if they would end someday, we would still fight on.
Because there already isn't much left in this world, and if we remove love from it... I don't want to think about what would be left.

Okay I've gone stray from the original topic.
Only 13.
Yeah.

One thing I've never understood is, if they support Henry joining Super Junior (or at least being accepted as a part of Super Junior), then will they support any other new member that SM decides to throw into Super Junior too?
That completely doesn't make sense.
(Or if they don't want Henry to join Super Junior, but just want him to be acknowledged for what he's doing and etc, well we're actually not that different. It's just that we don't like Henry/Zhoumi. Or rather we're neutral about them. And they like them. But all of us also love another 13 members, and 13 is larger than 2.)

The point is, if SM sees that they could add 2 new members into a subgroup of Super Junior and the fans accept them, SM would think, they can get away with adding more people! It's free publicity, taking advantage of Super Junior's fame. It's easier to introduce artistes with another already-well-known group. More people would notice them.
So if SM thinks they can use Super Junior as a advertising tool for introducing new artistes, well, who knows, maybe they'll introduce a 5th subgroup of Super Junior with, say, 3 new non-Suju members! And what would the fans do then? Accept them?!
Then SM would start thinking, hey Super Junior has too many members. And since Leeteuk and Heechul are getting old now and they need to go for NS, let's remove them from the group!
And soon Super Junior would be just an empty shell. A name. Nothing else.

Is that what you want to happen?

You might say, uh, you're exaggerating. That won't happen.
Yeah and we all thought that DBSK would go on dominating the Korean music industry forever. Maybe SM also thought DBSK would go on earning money for them forever. We all thought that 2PM would forever have 7 members. We all still think that everything would go back to normal again.
(No offense to Cassies and 2PM fans. I didn't mean any disrespect or whatsoever. I'm too hoping everything would be alright for everyone again. But the point is, we don't know what's going to happen in future. And we all know that even if the lawsuit gets settled and if Jaebum comes back to 2PM, things won't ever be the same again. It's true and there's no arguing about that.)
And hey, we all thought that we can take both BSP scholarship AND MSTP at the same time too!
We all thought we could trust the authority.
Are we going to keep doing so, still?

Change is a really horrible thing.

We, as Only 13 fans, are trying to stop SM, before they start changing Super Junior however they like thinking they can get away with it and the fans won't complain and would foolishly accept everything.

Because we won't. We're going to keep fighting.

And yeah you're going to say, but now SM already released an announcement that Super Junior will forever only consist of 13 members, Leeteuk Heechul Hankyung Yesung Kangin Shindong Sungmin Eunhyuk Donghae Siwon Ryeowook Kibum Kyuhyun. So why are you guys still shouting Only13 during Don't Don performances?
Because if we don't do that, SM is going to think that we've forgotten about it and are starting to accept Henry as a part of Super Junior. That over time we've grown to like Henry or whatever.
We need to remind them it's not the case.
We'd much rather be shouting something else during the song to show our support. Trust me. Seriously.
But we can't. We aren't going to let SM walk all over us, walk all over the 13 boys that we love so much.

Then you might mention, but Super Junior members seem to accept them already! So why can't you, as their fans?
Of course they would accept them. They are all human. And they (by that I mean Super Junior AND Henry and Zhoumi) are all nice people and it's natural to get along well with each other. I mean I don't want them to be at each other's throats either.
I know Leeteuk Park Jungsoo pulled the 2 of them onto stage during Super Show II in Bangkok and asked ELFs to applaud them or something.
Well it's true, they've worked hard in SJM. We acknowledge them too.
I know Zhoumi took care of Heechul when he was recovering from his car accident, because Hankyung requested for him to help since he was busy.
We're touched by how they care for one another.
But even though we're touched, we still need to keep fighting.
Just to keep Super Junior together as a group.

We need to.

I'm not looking for arguments or debates with this post. But if you want to talk to me about this in a civilized way, well, okay, and I'll try my best to be as civilized and non-sardonic as I can get. :P
This post may not be speaking for EVERY Only13 fan. But I'm sure it speaks for most. Or at least those with semi-functioning brains... I hope. :P

I'm not forcing non-Only 13 fans to accept my opinion (because if they tried to turn me into non-Only 13... well, I would like to see them try. :D).
I just want them (okay whoever who reads my blog anyway) to understand how we feel as Only13 fans.
It's true we've done things that are hurtful to Henry and Zhoumi. And I know some of us did attack them personally. I'm really really sorry, but sometimes we get agitated, especially when it was first happening. We do things without thinking. And when we're desperate... we do desperate things. I hope you understand, and even if you don't... well, there's nothing I can do about it to make you understand -.- So in that case I guess I have nothing to say to you.
(So you probably shouldn't try to say anything to me either about this topic. :D)

But the point is, we're going to keep fighting. No matter what.
But we're fighting against SME. Not Henry and Zhoumi.
I'm thinking I should probably write letters to them. To explain. I don't know if they'll read them but I might anyway.
Because we're going to keep fighting unti SJM stops all activities, or Super Junior disbands. No actually we'll still fight beyond the point of time when Super Junior disbands. Except by then, the words Only13 would have a completely different meaning. (:

It's not going to be pretty, it's not going to be easy. It may not even be necessary.
But we want to do it. To us, it is necessary.

Oh btw if you don't care about Only13 just because you don't like everyone in Super Junior and won't care if some of them leaves and get replaced by Henry and Zhoumi, well, then this post has never been for you. :D And I would probably never talk to you about Super Junior :P :D
Because Only13 =/= Super Junior - Kim Yongwoon - Kim Kibum + Henry Lau + Zhoumi. It will never be so. No matter what. Whatever the cost.

You may say I'm taking the fangirling thing too far. -shrug- I think it's worth it. So yeah. :P And it's my life after all. (:

Super Junior Only 13 Forever 13.
♥

Super Junior has 14 members. Starts with Leeteuk, ends with ELF.

For that alone, I'll keep fighting.

xoxos.

Labels: fangirlism, issues, super junior

Oh my freaking gosh I'm developing OCD.
8D
Except I'm not even doing anything. -.-
Have you forgotten?

RAHRAHRAHRAH.

LI XINZHUO YOU HAVE NO TIME LEFT FOR SLACKING.

Hey I've got this idea to remodel my RC restaurant (before. you know. :D) to look like the one I described in the sldtt cafe scene. (Not that I described it much -.- but well, my mental picture of it. :D)

Lalala.

I bet this post would be edited later over some other issue that I stumble across and decide to bore everyone with again. Yay.

/edit/
OH MY FREAKING GOSH OMG OMG OMFG.
SUPER SHOW II CD!!!! (Yeah I know it's CD... Not DVD... BUT STILL.)
MY HONEY MY BEAUTIFUL MY INSOMNIA MY GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
OH MY FREAKING GOSH I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT ITTTTTTTTT.
-save moneying-
It'd better be stocked in Singapore, or I'll start killing people. :DD

AND OMG MY SORRY SORRY REMIX OMG OMG OMG OMG.
THERE'S ONE PART THAT I DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED. OH MY GOSH. :O
AND EUNHYUK HAS ANOTHER RAP OMG. (With someone whom I can't tell who it is... Shindong? Donghae??? -Eunhae shipper surfaces- Someone else entirely? :O) (OMG IT'S REALLY EUNHAE. -diesdiesdiesdiesdies-)
And IT'S YOU. Argh my gosh.

Okay sorry this is what's probably going to happen when Suju's 4th album comes out. :D Except it'll be a million times worse. ^^
OMG I CAN'T WAIT ALREADY ._________. (When the album would probably be released in June or later -.- I mean they haven't even started recording -.-)
(But I can't wait to hear it already. :D)

(AND SERIOUSLY PEOPLE, GO READ SAS. ^^ There's good stuff there you know. XDD)

/edit of edit/
Changed skin. The to-do-list was starting to irritate me (which was the purpose anyway) but I'm scared that people didn't know I'm updating and thought my blog is dead -.-
So I shifted the list to the 3rd navigation (where there's supposed to be a tagboard XD) ^^v It'll still subconsciously irritate me (I think. Hope. But recently things that irritate me just tend to make me not do them -.- Oh freak.).
Too lazy to edit the profile, plus I just changed my skin not long ago so the profile is still relatively fresh, plus I like what I wrote so yeah, keeping it for now :D
Same goes for the music. (:
(Oh and my blog title actually makes sense lorh. I mean okay, sort of. But it's not just 2 nonsensical words that I plucked up there to look cool... :P)
(But uh, looking cool is important too. :PP OKAY SPARE ME I'M SUPERFICIAL LIKE THAT. Not that you didn't know it. Or did you? :P)

The SAS skin is starting to get on my nerves too because the posting space is so narrow and all my posts are infinitely lengthened -.- It's good for making short posts look long, but, when your posts are already long? -cough fanfiction cough- ._______.



I'm swearing an abnormally lot recently, with all the "freaks" that've recently been developed in the world and everything... XP Granted it's nothing as compared to some things that some people swear -ahem- but still, it's better to keep my language clean. :D Lalala.

And oh man today alone I must have posted at SAS for like 5 times. At least 4. With a dozen edits in between. ._.
Effects fanfictions (from LJ) have on you. :P

LALALA 100 SUJU FIC CHALLENGE~
I challenge you to read my first story without puking blood (okay that's virtually impossible. Whee~). 8D

Oh yeah I'm finally returning to my world of CIPing tomorrow. ^^

xoxos.

Okay I've been thinking (yeah I keep thinking these days... good or bad?).
About the stuff I'm posting nowadays -.-

I'm asking myself, am I trying to prove something?
Trying to make myself sound special, mature, and sure about how I feel?
Trying to make myself sound as if I'm all intelligent and smart?
Trying to make my blog different from the tons of other blogs that a 14 year old in Singapore would have?

Not really.
Not yet at least.

So far I'm just trying to talk about issues that I feel strongly about.
I'm thinking about getting a tagboard. I want to hear what other people think about these same issues (assuming they know of their existence... thanks to my overly long to do list :P).

Hmm.

But after all it's a fine line between being yourself and being someone you aren't, being sincere and showing off.
I'm scared of crossing that line, honestly.

I mean I've always like to create philosophies, so called.
Help me to find a way to deal with things in life, I suppose.

But I really don't want to be a showoff.
As much as I'd like to pretend otherwise, people's opinions of me matter to me. It's natural.

So uh, if one day I'm starting to be a 14-years-old trying to sound like a 40-years-old professor (and irritating the whole world by doing so), poke some sense back into me. Thanks. I'll need that.
(:

xoxos.

Labels: issues, pointless

Okay I'm officially sick of labels.

What I've been doing all these while, with this blog, is basically throwing the rest of this world into this giant container and paste a giant label on it that says "FAKE" in bright neon glowing letters.
And me myself isn't in that container.

Tell me what's not fake about that.

Oh my gosh I seriously think there's something wrong with me. ._______.

Artificial.
I should just give up and let the world take its course.
Things were good when they were still simple. But who asked me to realise they are complicated?

Self-delusion.
Hahahaha.
I've tried one form of it, so why not try another now?

I seriously understand why little kids have imaginary friends now -.-
Maybe that's happening to me 10 years late. :P
Not that impossible come to think about it.

OH GO AWAY.

/edit/
Okay I conclude, life is easy when you're a blind brainless airhead fangirl.
So I'll try to be that. -.- (Wait, isn't that what I've always been.)

/edit/
SME removed the previous video -.- Hoping they would leave this alone, but doesn't look like it. :P Oh well posting this one for now.)


Seoul Song/Super Junior ft. SNSD

Omg the video is ♥. You completely want to hug everyone in the video (yeah including the SNSD girls :P) ESPECIALLY CHO KYUHYUN IN HIS BLACK SWEATER♥ (And the flashing-past Eunhyuk is ♥ too. ^^ Yesung = ultimate spasness (in the 2 seconds that he appeared for but anyway...) And ohmg Donghae~ Shindong's dance is ♥ and the little kids are SUPER CUTE XDD Leeteuk is ♥♥♥ (as always ^^) Siwon looked so cute when he was running... Ryeowook is ♥ Basically I love the whole video~)
-ends additional fangirling here, end of edit ^^-
AND GAH KYU I'M JEALOUS :P Okay honestly speaking Jessica is pretty. I sort of like (or maybe just am okay with) Taeyeon and Seohyun.

I officially declare I'm not going to hate SNSD anymore :D
Respect each artiste for their work. It's not easy for anyone... (:



Well I was thinking.
When you like Korean stars one thing you keep wondering is, did they go through plastic surgery? (Yeah Korea is too well-known for its connotations to plastic surgery. -shrug-)
Honestly speaking, it doesn't matter. Not to me.
They don't really have a choice.
You know my FPS scenario story from last year? (Okay you probably don't. Nvm.) It was about a girl who wanted to be a famous singer but she couldn't become one unless she agreed to undergo plastic surgery. Which actually isn't that futuristic after all, seeing how it already seems to be the case in Korea.

One thing about plastic surgery is, people understand it if others need it for medical reasons, like after car accidents.
But when it's by choice or something, they seem to despise it and treat it as something vile and evil and etc.
That's what I thought too, last year. I mean yeah I still treasure natural beauty. Beauty in things as they are. No changes. No articifiality. (That was before I realised everything is artificial to an extent...)

But actually it's okay. Who isn't vain? Can you blame someone for wanting to look more attractive? No you can't. Is he/she harming other people with what he/she is doing? Nope. In fact they're bringing about more job opportunities.

It's a question of how far you'd go to make yourself pretty.
I guess everyone needs to draw their own line for this issue.
We just need to accept that the line is drawn at different places for everyone, and stop attempting to erase other's lines and making them follow your line. It doesn't work that way.
This applies for everything else too, from sensitive stuff like religion, to anal things like, say, whether you want to eat icecream or jelly for dessert.

Yeah I won't do plastic surgery myself, but I won't condemn another person for having done it.

Anyway, I believe that if Suju did plastic surgery (which I think they have... ._.), it's not entirely their choice. (ahem LSM ahem.) Plus even if they chose it, can you blame them for wanting to look nicer for their fans?
Come to think about it, how is plastic surgery different from a haircut? Yeah other than the whole danger factor and how it's irreversable (while hair grows back all the time), moralistically speaking, aren't they both attempts to make yourself more attractive?

(Omg I think I can tidy up my posts and expand on them a bit more and I can present them in lit forum next year already XDD hahaha. Kidding.)

Oh, so because they're idols, they should be perfect and promote the art of natural beauty?
Idols aren't perfect. Their job isn't to be some ambassador for natural living. They can teach their fans other lessons. Fans can learn other things from them. Other things, that matters a lot more.
Stuff like (for fangirling sakes I'll give Suju examples for everything :D) teamwork (... obvious enough.), loving people around you (... obvious enough...), family (for me, especially Donghae and his father. ._.), friendship (......), hard work and perseverance (all the years they've spent as SM trainees, and HANGENG.), tolerance (responds to antis ._. and how they treat one another when one of them is in a bad mood etc), courage and strength (Kyu's car accident. Argh.), care (everything... from how Sungmin makes ginseng(?) tea for Teuk when he's not well to extreme times (e.g. car accidents :/ KYUTEUK AH. KICHUL AH. (uh using the "pairing names" here just for simplicity. Don't anyhow go YY :D) ) ), etc.
I believe for these things alone, they're worthy to be idolized.
(:



Oh, since we're on this topic, let's talk about idols smoking too.
Yeah so SUPPOSEDLY Suju smokes. Okay.
I won't act as if I wasn't shocked when I first heard this. (But honestly speaking I completely cannot imagine Donghae and Ryeowook smoking. And seriously Teuk Hangeng Eunhyuk aren't the type who's likely to smoke. ._. But anyway, ASSUMING SO.)
For a full minute, I wanted to scream things like "How could you let me down like that" (yeah and who am I to them -.- what let me down -.- excuse me I seem to be thinking too highly of myself.) "You guys should set good examples!" etc etc.
Then I thought of the entire chunk of stuff that I've typed above this. About how they've already set great examples for many many things for us. So I should be grateful.
And plus, I was trying to make them perfect again, wasn't I. :P

Yes it's true that they shouldn't smoke. But not because of rubbish reasons such as "YOU ARE FAMOUS. YOU ARE AN IDOL." etc etc.
Simply because it's bad for their health alone. (Esp you ah Park Jungsoo. -.- AND CHO KYUHYUN YOUR LUNGS LIKE THAT ALREADY YOU STILL WANT TO SMOKE YOU WANT TO DIE IS IT. -.- And Kim Jongwoon Kim Ryeowook smoking is bad for your throat. Esp you Kim Ryeowook if your throat dies how are you going to hit all those high notes?! And Lee Hyukjae dancing needs stamina. YOU NEED YOUR LUNG CAPACITY. You too Hangeng Shin Donghee. And Kim Heechul Kim Kibum Kim Yongwoon you guys have such pretty smiles with amazing white teeth, don't make them turn yellow -.- And Lee Donghae smoking just... isn't you. Your dad won't want you to smoke. Lee Sungmin smoking isn't your style. Yeah I know you're very man and etc but I thought you took up Wushu so that your body would be in good condition. So don't go spoil it. Choi Siwon yeah I know supposedly all rich CEOs should smoke or something but rich CEOs don't usually give up their business to become singers either. So why can't you be different all the way?)
Okay sorry I didn't mean for that to become some entire dedication thing -.- I've just wanted to scream at Park Jungsoo and Cho Kyuhyun alone. :P The rest uh, came out automatically. (Proof that you can't think of one member of Suju without thinking about the other 12. (: ) Sorry for all non-ELFs who had to read through that entire chunk of fangirl thoughts. Yeah.

Plus I believe they would quit smoking. Esp if ELFs asked them to. (Except we have no concrete proof that they smoke in the first place so uh, yeah.)

My personal belief is that, as long as it's not something seriously morally wrong, well, there's still room for consideration. You have to judge things on a case-by-case basis sometimes. Life isn't a round of the buzzer game (you know that game where you have to uh, go from one end of a wire bent into weird shapes to the other with this hoop thing without touching the sides of the wire at any point). One wrong move, one accidental touch, and you die.

And what if you love someone, in real life, who smokes?
Just because your Prince Charming smokes means you'll leave him?
Yeah I know it's hard to live with someone who smokes all the time, but won't you give him a second chance? To make him quit smoking? To wait for him while he tries to do that?
If you aren't willing to, I don't think you love that person at all in the first place.

We're always talking about giving ex-convicts a second chance in our society.
But maybe smokers need second chances too, chances of another sort.

Think about it. (:
Not going to force you to think like me, but this is how I'm going to think. :D

(Hey I'm not putting everyone into the giant container again okay! This time, there's no containers. I'm talking more about, lines this time. Where they're placed, and how they can be erased. And etc. Or something like that. I need to think of a good analogy for this... :P But it's an improvement right?)

And to think all these originated from an innocent video when the top half of my post was complaining about how I'm such a judgemental person -.-
So I'm like this.
So maybe me myself isn't perfectly fine with how I am.
But you can learn to accept me the way I am, together with me myself. :D

And so life as a fangirl is actually still pretty complicated after all. Hum.

And seriously, if I write expositions like this next year I'm going to get failed. Lala.

xoxos.

Labels: fangirlism, issues, pointless, super junior